I want you to stay
by Oblivionokay
Summary: Zoe's life still hangs in the balance. The question is will she stay or will she go? Max is still coming to terms with his situation. Can he be Zoe's pillar of support in her hour of need? What does the future hold for max and Zoe? Sequel to 'how could I live before'. (Need to read that one first).
1. Chapter 1

**Hey. So I hated leaving you all with such a cliffhanger, that's why I've decided to write a sequel pretty quickly. **

**Here's the first chapter, hope you enjoy.**

**Please review xx**

**Katie xx**

Zoe's eyes fluttered open. Max gasped. As her eyelids opened a sense of relief flooded Max's body. His beautiful Zoe choose to fight. He kissed her forehead and sat looking at her.

A doctor came in and took her off the ventilator and sat her up. Zoe tried to move her lips to speak but she was too weak.

"Don't princess. All in good time you've under gone major surgery and your body has suffered a lot of trauma. You need to rest."

She smiled weakly. Before squeezing Max's hand and closing her eyes.

Max was exhausted his eyes were heavy and his body ached. He needed sleep but Zoe needed him. The hospital was lay in silence. The night staff tended to the few patients that remained awake. A nurse stuck her head around the door to Zoe's room.

"Everything okay in here."

"Yeah she's fallen asleep."

"Aw okay. Are you okay, you look like you could do with a break."

"Nah I'm fine I don't want to leave her alone."

"Alright just don't let yourself burn out I'll go and fetch you some food when was the last time you ate?"

"I don't remember."

"I'll be right back."

Max was alone with Zoe once again, she looked peaceful for the first time since the accident. He couldn't help but think what if her eyes hadn't opened. What if she hadn't got the strength to fight against the light. He tried to shake the thoughts from his head. She was alive and that's all that mattered.

The nurse returned with a sandwich and a bottle of water.

"Here eat up. And then maybe think about getting some rest your going to need all the energy you can get Zoe will be awake again soon and she's going to need you more than ever.

Max ate and drank. He leant over Zoe and placed a kiss on her lips. Before laying in the chair as best as he could and draping his coat over him. Sleep over took.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy xx**

**Please review:)**

**Katie xx **

As Max slept his dreams became plagued with what ifs. His mind played over all the possibilities. His dreams became nightmares. He'd watch Zoe slip away from him so many times. Suddenly he came to his senses.

He woke up in a cold sweat. His heart was threatening to break through his ribcage. He sat up and saw Zoe lying on the bed.

'It was just a bad dream' he reassured himself.

By this time most of the ED staff had arrived for work. There was a knock at the door. Connie entered.

"How's she doing."

"Well she's alive. She woke up last night but fell asleep again the surgery really washed her out."

"Well things seemed to be looking up. Why don't you go home and come back later."

"I'm alright I've been to sleep and I've eaten."

"I just think you could do with some time away from this place. And a decent rest, hospital chairs aren't really the most comfortable."

"Yeah your right and I could ret do with a shower and a change of clothes. Can you get someone to sit with Zoe I don't want her to be alone when she wakes up."

"Of course, don't worry she's in the best possible hands, I'll look after her myself."

Connie smiled at Max who returned it.

He stood up and kissed Zoe goodbye.

"I'll be back later princess don't miss me too much."

Max left the room and walked home. The sun was high in the sky, it's Rays were beating down on Max's tired body. He needed to hurry up he hated the idea of leaving Zoe for too long.

Back at the hospital Tess had taken Max's place. She sat in the chair and spoke to Zoe who was still fast asleep.

"Well you definitely gave us all a scare. Don't you dare ever do that again. We all thought we'd lost you. Max was distraught. But thank goodness your a fighter. Zoe I don't know what I'd do without you."

Zoe rolled slightly and began to stir. She opened her eyes to see Tess sitting in Max's place.

Her mouth was dry and she was confused. Her body hurt all over. She couldn't remember a lot but she did know that she was in he ED she'd recognise the distinctive smell anywhere. Tess brought a cup of water to Zoe's lips and she took a slip. The water ran down her deprived throat.

"Tess. What happened, it's all just a blur. The last thing I remember is going out for a midnight walk and then waking up here last night after that I must have gone to sleep again."

"Well yes we all went on a midnight walk and as you went to cross the road a car came out of nowhere and it hit you. You were rushed in to hospital and had to have immediate surgery. You've been fighting for your life we didn't think you were going to make it."

"Well here I am it's going to take more than a car to wipe me out. Where Max?"

"He's gone home for a while, he's washed out poor love, he refused to leave your side. He's been so worried about you Zoe, you don't know how lucky you are to have him."

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy xx**

**Please review xx**

**Katie xx**

Max returned to the hospital after he'd had a shower, changed his clothes and eaten something decent.

As he pushed open the door, Zoe looked at him.

"Hey beautiful, how you feeling."

"Oh you know being hit by a car is rather painful. But now your back i feel much better."

"I'm glad, well I've brought you some chocolate."

"Oh now stop spoiling me."

"Nice to have you back."

"It's nice to be back. Connie should be in soon to check up on me."

"Oh alright then."

Max took his prior seat again and held onto Zoe's hand. She looked at him, she saw the pain in his eyes. She knew that the battle was far from over but they would fight their way through together. Zoe knew Max knew it too.

Max was worried about the possibility of things taking a turn for the worst. Something could happen and all the progress zoe had made could be erased and they'd have to start all over again. Max didn't know if he was strong enough to see her go through it again.

Zoe squeezed his hand which brought him back to his senses.

"Are you okay Max."

"Yeah yeah I'm fine still trying to deal with this whole situation."

"If you need a break, I know that hospitals can get to you in the end. It's harder being on the other side."

"Tell me about it, I didn't realise how difficult it is when your the one terrified, hoping and all the not knowing. It's easy to comfort someone and tell them it's going to be okay but switch it around and its hell."

"Max it's okay, your not alone. I'm going to get better and then things can resume where we left off. Everything's going to be okay Max."

"Is it though. You weren't the one that had to watch your lifeless body lie on the road. You weren't the one that sat outside the theatre doors sick with worry about wether you'd make it or not. You weren't the one that sat by your bed for hours holding your hand praying to see your eyes open again, to hear you say my name. Zoe I was in bits, I'm still trying to put myself back together. Things can't go back and never will you know that."

Tears were streaming down Zoe's face. She'd never seen Max so vulnerable before and it was killing her.

"Max I'm sorry. I'm so lucky to have you, and you never be able to begin to imagine just how grateful I'm that you stuck by me. I love you and without you I'd crumble. I'm determined to get better, and maybe things will change but one thing that won't is that you'll always have me."

Max lifted himself out of his chair and kissed Zoe. She ran her fingers through his hair. Max stood up and sat on the bed.

"All I want is for you to get better and to take you home. But you have to promise that you'll let me look after you."

"Of course. No Prince Charming would you care to fill this space next to me. I think we could both do with some sleep."

Max climbed into the lacking space beside Zoe. He wrapped his arms around her and she placed her head on his chest. Their eyes became heavy and they slipped into sleep.

Connie came along to check on Zoe but as she opened the door she caught sight of the couple laced in one another's arms and quietly walked away.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy :)**

**Please review xx**

**Katie xxx**

As the light outside began to fade connie went back to check on zoe before her shift ended. She pushed open the door and walked in. The couple were still tangled in the others embrace.

She stepped closer to the bed and max stirred.

"Oh connie."

"Max don't worry I'll be gone soon, just need to check on the stitches and look for any signs of infection. I won't be long."

Max got off the bed and decided to go and get a drink. Leaving the pleasure of waking zoe up to connie.

"Zoe. Zoe"

"Ugh."

"Morning zoe its connie, I've come to check on you."

Zoe's eyes opened and she pushed herself into a sitting position.

Can you sit forward I need to check your head first. Connie took the bandage off and inspected to healing of the wounded.

"That all looks fine, no sign of infection and it's healing well. You can lean back again."

Then connie pulled the covers back a little and lifted up Zoe's top. She removed the bandage and looked closely at the wound.

"All looks good. There's definitely new skin growth and no infection. So you should be out of here within the next few days"

"Thank you connie. As much as this place feels like a second home I need to get out and max will be over the moon. He just wants to get me home."

"I know. It's always really hard on the relatives but until your put in that position you never know just how difficult it really is. Having to watch, helpless and all you can do is pray they will pull through. He really does love you zoe."

"I know."

Connie left leaving zoe alone with her own thoughts. So much has happened over the past few days, it had all become a blur to zoe. Her memories of the accident were fractured but it had most definitely left her reeling. She hadn't told max but she was terrified of going back out into the real world. She didn't yet know to what extent her injuries would affect her and that scared her. For the moment she was bed ridden, she hadn't relying on anyone but know max was the only way she could make a good recovery.

Max came back into the room carrying to coffees.

"Coffee for my favourite invalid"

"Thanks."

"So what did connie say?"

"Nothing much. Just that the stitches are fine, no sign of any infection and there had been new skin growth. I should be out of here wishing the next few days."

"Zoe that's brilliant news maybe then I can take care of you properly."

"Max, what would I do without you."

"I have no idea. So I guess it's lucky you got me."

"Come here you."

Max placed his and Zoe's cups down before zoe grabbed his top and pulled him towards her. She placed her lips over his. Right now they both needed to support each other in this long road to recovery. The outcome was still uncertain they just had to remain optimistic.

**Please review. There'll be more soon x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy x**

**Please review xx**

**Katie xx**

A day later and Zoe was buzzing as she was being discharged in a couple of days. She was so happy to be finally going home. She was well on the way to recovery. Although she wasn't allowed out of bed until tomorrow. Max had stayed with her and had just gone home to get her some new clothes and to get a shower himself.

She lay and read a magazine for a while but began to get restless. She wanted to get out of bed and walk around but she knew connie and Max would have a fit if they saw her.

She picked her iPad up and played a few games, whilst waiting for Max to make a welcome return. The door opened and Max entered the room.

"How's my princess."

"Extremely bored."

"Well I'm here now. Shall I go get my clown suit."

"Max."

"Zoe."

"Can we play connect four."

"If you want to yeah."

"It's in the bottom of the cupboard."

Max took the game out and set it up of the table. Zoe picked to be reds and left Max with yellow. They played a few rounds and it was best of 5. Zoe won. 3-2.

"That's not fair."

"What because I beat you."

"Yeah. Rematch."

"Nope."

"Why."

"I'm tired Max, I'm still recovering remember."

"Oh yeah how could I ever forget, well princess I'll go see if I can help out at all while you get some rest. I'll be back later."

Max kisses Zoe on the forehead and left her to sleep. Zoe closed her eyes and dozed off.

A few hour later she sat back up and there was a note next to her bed.

'Morning princess,

Sorry I can't be there when you wake up I'm helping out as they are short staffed so I'll be in as soon as possible.

I love x'

Zoe read the note and then lay back on the bed. Her legs felt numb she needed to get up. Her muscles felt weak and lifeless. She sat up fully and swung her legs round until her feel reached the floor. She slid her bum to the edge of the bed and using the bedside table to support herself stood up. Her ankles and knees felt flimsy but she held herself up. She moved one foot in front of the other. Once she had regained her balance Zoe walked up and down the room. It felt good to be up and about.

Then she noticed that her phone had fallen to the floor. She bent down to pick it up. She felt a tear in her skin. As she stood back up she could feel blood running down her stomach. She lifted her top and put pressure on the area where the stitches had torn. She quickly managed to stem the bleeding, cleaned the area and put a clean dressing on it. Then got quickly back into bed just in time before Max along with connie came to see her.

She could tell them about the wound and it could compromise her chances of being able to go home soon. Zoe smiled through the pain. She just had to grin and bear it soon enough platelets would form a scab and the skin would heal itself.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy x**

**Please review xx**

**Katie xx**

It was the day Zoe was going to be discharged. She was extremely happy. Max had brought her some new clothes from home and he had just gone to get some food.

Zoe felt herself becoming increasingly warm, but her muscles were beginning it shiver. Max walked back in and saw Zoe's discomfort.

"Zoe are you okay?"

"Where I'm fine I just wanna get home"

"I know, as soon as connie discharges you I'll get you home."

Connie came in and looked at Zoe.

"You look very pale, and your skin is quite clammy. I would like to run some bloods before you go."

"Really is that necessary. She just wants to go home."

"I know Max, but it could be an infection or something."

Zoe swallowed hard, what if the wound had become infected. She couldn't cope with staying in hospital any longer. Why hasn't she just told someone about tearing it.

Connie took her temperature.

"37.9 it is a little high so I will take some bloods."

Zoe stared blankly at the ceiling. All she wanted to do was to go home and yet she couldn't see that being today. She'd built her hopes up and now she was watching herself fall.

Connie left the room and just left Zoe and Max.

"Zoe are you okay." Max said taking her hand.

"Yeah I'm just a little tired and really need to get home."

"I know princess, I'm sure you will and I'll look after you."

"Max, I'm sorry."

"For what"

"This whole thing."

"It's not your fault none of it is."

"You don't understand."

"Zoe what are you talking about."

Zoe pushed the covers down and lifted her top to expose the wound she'd torn the other day. Max looked at it.

"Zoe I'm not expert but I'd say that it's infected. Why didn't you say anything."

"Because I knew I wouldn't be allowed home."

"Zoe princess. I'm getting Connie."

Max left the room. Zoe began to feel faint and her breathing became rapid and shallow. Connie and Max re-entered the room.

"Zoe" Connie could see that she was slipping from consciousness. She need to act fast. She hooked up a saline drip and injected some penicillin.

"Connie is she going to okay."

"Max I sure hope so but right now I need you to go and get Tess."

Max left the room and Connie looked at the cut on Zoe's abdomen.

"Zoe what happened."

"I got out of bed and bent down and it torn the stitches." She replied sluggishly.

"Why didn't you say anything."

"I thought it would hinder my chances of escaping this place."

"Well it certainly has now."

Zoe looked up again, fighting back the tears. Tess and Max returned.

"Tess I think she's got septicaemia. I've started her on penicillin but she'll need to be kept under observation for the next few days."

"Okay, you've been lucky Zoe, I could have been a hole lot worse."

"I know Tess, I just want to go home."

"Yes and you will very soon."

They both left and Max sat down with Zoe.

"I love you Zoe, we will get through this your a fighter you've got to keep going."

Max kissed her and she fell into a land plagued with what ifs.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy xx**

**Please review xx**

**Katie xx**

The last week Zoe had wanted to give up so many times. She had spent a large amount of time in a hospital bed on antibiotics and a drip. All she wanted more than anything was to go home.

Max was trying his best to keep her spirits up but there's was only so much that even Max could do to make her feel better.

The infection was beginning to clear so with any look she'd be out with the next few days. But then again she'd gotten this fa last time and had ruined her chances. What if she did something again. It was driving her insane. The same white washed walls, the same smell and the horrible tasteless hospital food. If it could even be classed as food.

Zoe lay facing the ceiling. She had counted the ties so many times now. She new how many there were. 6 up and 4 across so 24 in total. And she even could recall that the 2nd on down on the 3rd row had a yellow stain due to a bag of blood bursting a few weeks before the accident and it had stained slightly when it was being cleaned.

It was early in the morning and the hospital was eerily quite. Zoe had sent Max home as she's had just quite enough of him fussing over her. Yes she loved him and was so thankful that he cared so much but he was sleep deprived. He needed to go home get some rest and eat. She would still be in the same place when he got back in the morning.

Zoe felt herself becoming increasingly sleepy. Her eyes closed and her mind began to wonder.

'_She was walking is a field. Around her she could hear familiar voices. She turned to see Max. He held his hand out to her and she took it. They were on a camping holiday with some of the ED staff. It was dark outside. They came to a road and Max went across first and the rest followed. Zoe brought up the rear and then a car hit her sending her flying over the bonnet. She landed smack on the ground. She was unresponsive. Connie knelt down beside her and Max clung to her hand. A hand reached for her neck. _

_"There's no pulse." Connie called out. "We need to start CPR." Rita, Dylan and the rest all came to help. Max sat by Zoe's head stroking her hair._

_"Zoe don't you dare give up, so I want you to stay, I need you to stay. Zoe please no Zoe no please."_

_A hand touched Max's shoulder. It was Tess._

_"Max I'm so sorry there's nothing we couldn't have done to save her. At least she's not in pain."_

_Max broke down, tears streaming from his eyes. He bent his head down to Zoe's and kissed her bluing lips. Her face felt slightly cold. The life had drained from her she was gone his Zoe gone_.'

Zoe sat bolt upright. He face covered in a cold sweat. She's been asleep all of a few hours. Tears had formed in her eyes. She's been so lucky everything could have turned out very differently. She tried to regain control of her breathing. Her heart rate had returned to normal. She wanted Max, she needed him now.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy. **

**Please review xx **

**Katie xx**

Max had just arrived at work and walked into Zoe's room to check on her. She was sleeping still, she seemed peaceful, but he saw her year stained checks. Placing a kiss on her forehead, he sat down heavily on the chair. The past few weeks had been tough, but he was so thankful that Zoe was on the mend.

Max left the room again, he needed to talk to connie. Zoe had spoken about wanting to go home and right now he though it was probably for the best.

He knocked on her office door.

"Come in"

"Hello, I've come to talk about Zoe"

"Max take a seat."

"Well, I'm going to keep this simple. Zoe has been taking about wanting to go home and i believe that it would be of most beneficial if she did so. But I'm not a doctor so I kind of need your permission."

"Well once she's awake I'll come and check on her."

"Okay thank you."

Max walked out and breathed a sigh of relief, he really hated seeing Zoe lying in bed all day, she looked so solum. He pushed open the door and was greeted by a 'hhu'.

"Morning to you too."

"Morning."

"How are you princess"

"Well apart from the obvious, sick of being in here."

"Well I'm tired of you being in here."

At that moment connie popped her head in.

"How is everyone feeling."

"Much better thank you."

"Well I've been looking through your notes and I don't see why you can't go home today."

A smile spread across Zoe's face.

"Really."

"Yes of course, I'll just order your prescription and you can be on your way."

Connie smiled and left.

"Max did you hear that, I can go home. I can finally go home."

The excitement in Zoe's voice was profound.

"Come on then princess, you better get dressed, it will be time soon to met your adoring crowd."

"Shut up."

Zoe heaved herself out of bed, the pain had subsided slightly and happiness had replaced it. She got dressed with the help of Max. Connie came back with her painkillers and then Max and Zoe walked out into reception. Zoe scanned the space before her, it seemed so long since she'd been out here and yet nothing had changed. Her friends had all gathered, and began to hug her and told her to get better soon.

They walked out and got into the car, Max drove them home. They got home and went into the living room.

"Are you hungry."

"Very"

"Chinese."

"Definitely. And can you put the television on."

"Of course princess."

Max switched on the TV and handed the remote to Zoe, while he went to ring for dinner.

When Max got back Zoe was watching No Angels.

"What episodes this."

"Series 1 episode 5, sit down and wait for it."

"Wait for what?"

"You'll see."

'Blind me, he's been taking some stick.'

"Well that's a bit"

Zoe burst into fits of laughter.

"Be careful you'll hurt yourself."

"I'm sorry but is too funny."

"I don't see how that's so amusing."

"Seriously. Well now we are going to have a binge watching session. We should be able to get though most of series 1 and 2. And by the end you will love it."

"Will I know."

The food arrived and the couple settled down to a night of take away and No Angels. Life was on the mend.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's the next chapter. I hope your enjoying the story, there will be only 3 more chapters after this **

**Please review xx**

**Katie xx**

_A week later_

Zoe was sitting alone on the sofa her only company was Jeremy Kyle. The stories seemed to become repetitive but still she enjoyed seeing his reactions.

She was engrossed in the new case of a women who had slept with 3 best friends and now didn't know who the dad was to her 3 month old daughter. When there was a knock at the door.

"Seriously. Don't people realise I'm busy."

She stood up and made her way at her own pace to the door.

As she opened the door, standing on the other side was Tess, Robyn and to Zoe's surprise connie. Although over the past month the two had become pretty close friends.

"Surprise."

"Oh!"

"Sorry we didn't mean to scare you." Tess said.

"No it's okay, I'm just a little shocked."

"Well we thought you'd needed cheering up and would want some adult company, it isn't easy living with Max I should know."

"He's not too bad! He's been really helpful."

"I'm glad to hear it, but can we come in, standing out here is ruining the landscape."

"Oh yeah come in."

The four of them made their way into the living room and sat down.

"Well" connie began. "We have brought, DVDs, facemasks, wine and we can order pizza. Girls night in."

"Oh and we have told max he can stay back at mine with lofty for the night."

"Oh girls!"

"No need to thank us." Tess said.

"Now we have just got to get our pjs on! No sleepover is complete without pyjamas at 10 in the morning."

Whilst the others got changed Zoe turned off the TV and took her breakfast things into the kitchen before sitting back down.

"So facemasks first then?"

"Yeah, upstairs we go then!"

Tess turned to Zoe.

"Do you need any help."

"No I'll manage."

They all made it upstairs and into Zoe's room. Once the masks had been applied they all lay on the bed gossiping. They'd managed to fill Zoe in on all the happenings and then it was time to peel the masks off. The competition was on. The winner was the one who managed to get it off in one piece.

"3.2.1"

They all began to peel, Tess' ripped first and then Robyn's. It was game on between connie and Zoe. As they got to the last section both ripped at the same time.

"Seriously." Zoe said.

"Looks like there was no winner!"

They sat back down and carried on talking for a few more hours and before they knew it, the sun had set and it was time to order pizza.

They walked back downstairs and connie ordered the food, whilst Robyn poured the wine and Tess and Zoe chose a film.

"What we watching" connie called.

"The heat."

"Omg I love that film." Robyn said.

The four girls sat down sipping wine as the film began the door rang and connie went to collect the pizza. They sat in fits of laughter, even getting up to dance.

As the film came to a finish Zoe was fast asleep on the sofa. They all stood up, clearing up around them. They turned off the TV and then connie stayed on the sofa with Zoe to sleep and the other two took the other sofa.

For once Zoe lay still, her mind seemed at peace.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy xx**

**Please review xx**

**A/N- thank you to Lolly for the Connie/Zoe idea and thank you to 'imjustafan_girl' (off Instagram) for the waking up with a shock part xx**

**Katie xx**

'A pool of blood had accumulated beside her body, she lay there on the road. Lifeless. Cold. Dead. The crying from Max filled the air around her. The rest of them merged into the background. Shocked, crying, helpless. She was freezing. Her hand fitted into Max's. Him gripping tightly.'

Zoe woke up with a jolt. Her breathing heavy, and laboured. "It's okay, it's not real" she reassured herself. The pain in her abdomen was being to become unbearable at this point, the sudden movement when she woke caused her to put pressure on the wound. Robyn and Tess were still out for the count, but it was 1am and Zoe was now awake and there was no way she'd be able to sleep now; her mind was dancing and thoughts were flying at her from all directions.

Unbeknown to Zoe, Connie too lay awake, she'd been disturbed by Zoe's sudden waking. These past few months had been a strain on the department too, with Zoe off sick, Max not much use and already worrying. Everyone was worried about Zoe. Connie included.

Zoe raised her head slightly and looked around to see if anyone else was awake. She then sat herself up and put her feet carefully on the ground being careful not to hurt her stomach again, before proceeding into the kitchen for a glass of water and some paracetamol. Connie saw Zoe get up and she too walked into the kitchen just behind Zoe.

Zoe turned round to see Connie staring before her.

"Oh!"

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

"No it's okay I didn't realise anyone else was awake."

"Well I am, how come your not asleep."

"Too much to think about, and I had another one of those dreams, and when I woke up I pulled on my stitches."

"Oh, is you stomach okay? How are you sure you coping?"

"Me yeah I'm fine, dandy in fact!"

"Zoe! No time for jokes. But seriously if there's anything you want to take about, nows the time."

Zoe took a breath before sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs. Connie followed suit and sat down opposite.

"The problem is really I don't know where to begin."

"Well start where you feel comfortable and we can build on that."

"Ever since the accident I hate to close my eyes because ever time I do I'm back there, lying on the ground but only in my head I'm not breathing, my body is lifeless and my skin deathly pale. Max sits by my side, holding my ice block hand, tears rolling down his cheeks. And then everyone else is a blur in the background, all clinging to each other, crying. It seems so real and every time I wake up I have to remind myself that it's not real, it's just a nightmare and that I really did survive. But some days I take more convincing than others. This is not the sort of life I planned for myself Connie. I need to feel normal again, but I can to don't know how. Maybe it would have been better if I died, then I wouldn't have to put up with this now."

"Don't you dare say that! That's no way to think. Look at me. Zoe Hanna you're stronger than this, don't let it defeat you. Don't listen to the demons inside your head, be grateful for the life you still have and for the people in it. Think about Max. Would he have copped of you'd not made it? I don't think he would have. He managed to keep it together for you! Be the loves you. You couldn't have given that up. Just keep going things will improve. You'll heal and so with the the memories. The scars will always be there but with time they'll begin to fade and maybe one day you'll be able to leave this all in the past. Live for today and tomorrow not for yesterday. Yesterday can't be undone but tomorrow can be changed."

Zoe sat her head resting in her hands, tears silently cascading down her face. Connie stood up and pulled Zoe to her feet, hugging her tightly. Before whispering into her ear.

"He loves you Zoe, never forget that."

She wiped the tears from Zoe's cheeks and the two women went back into the living room, it was 6am. They both fell asleep within seconds of their head making contact with the pillow.

The day after the night before soon dawned and after grabbing what could only be described as a 'nap' Connie and the others left at 7am as they had to been in work later that day and need to sleep. So after that Zoe had retired upstairs.

Max had returned home at 10am and had left Zoe to sleep. It was now 4pm, max walked into their room with a tray of food.

"Zoe."

"Ugh."

"I've brought you breakfast."

"Max it's 4pm." She said glancing sleepily at the clock."we really need to clarify what you call breakfast."

"Oh shhh. Just eat. How was your night?"

"Brilliant thank you, I take it you had something to do with it."

"Well I couldn't dare say."

"Oh well, is this food made for sharing."

"Well I was hoping you'd say that."

"So you want some?"

"Yeah."

Max got into the bed next to Zoe. They both are before max lead Zoe into the bathroom.

They both got into the shower. There was a lot of giggling and it took three times as long as it should have to shower. They finally got out and headed back into their room.

"We are going out for dinner, so if you wan to dress up then your welcome to."

"Oh max. I've not left the house since coming home. I don't know if I'm ready."

"Zoe it will be okay I'll be there and if it gets too much we can always come home."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Now let's get ready."

As soon as they were both ready max drove them to the restaurant around the corner. Zoe was still not up to waking too much.

"Reservation under walker."

"Right this way."

They were seated and then ordered.

After they'd eaten max could see Zoe becoming increasingly anxious.

"Shall we go home."

"Please."

"It's okay, it will get better I promise."

"I hope so, I can live like this."

Max paid the bill and took Zoe home tucking her straight into bed, before climbing in himself.

Zoe fell asleep but memories of that day still played in her nightmares.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Second from last chapter of this fic, I hope you enjoy xx**

**Please review x**

**Katie xx**

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_A month later_

Zoe stood her hand gripping tightly to Max's outside the entrance to the ED. It was the first time she's been back here since being discharged nearly 3 months ago.

She felt herself begin to shake. She couldn't focus. She just had to get through today! The first day back is always the worst she told herself. She took a deep breath and began to walk into reception.

Faces turned to look at her and clapping rung out.

"Nice to have you back." Many familiar faces commented.

She felt alienated. For so long she's tried to leave this place and now she was back. Was it too early or would it never get easier.

Max kissing her broke her trace.

"I'll see you later?"

"Yeah see you later."

Zoe set her stuff down in her office before her pager went off. Here goes nothing Zoe muttered to herself.

"Oh hello Zo! Nice to have you back."

"So Dixie what have we got"

"This is Matthew, he's 25. He got hit by a cyclist and has sustained a fractured tibia, and lacerations to the head and arms. His abdomen is tender. His bp is normal, he's had 5mg of morphine and has had a gcs of 14 throughout. On my count. 1,2,3."

Zoe froze. Her hands and mind wouldn't coordinate. This is the place she was brought after the accident.

She could see herself lying there, practically lifeless on the bed, max as white as a sheet outside the door.

"Zoe zoe!" Dixie called."are you okay?"

"Sorry!"

Zoe turned around and walked out! She couldn't do this. Not now not ever. She quickly gathered her things and got into the car and drove home.

Dixie handed the patient over to lily before going to find max.

"Max. Stop come here."

"Sorry I'm really busy make it quick."

"It's Zoe."

"What's happened?"

"She's gone.?"

"Gone where?"

"I don't know, but she left resus and drove off I think."

Max didn't even reply he told Big Mac to take over grabbed his jacket and ran home in the hope he's find zoe there.

He opened the front door. He heard the sound of crying coming from inside.

"Zoe is that you are you okay?"

No reply. He walked into the living room to se zoe sitting on the floor her knees pulled up against her chest. Tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Hey you come here." Max said as he sat down beside her pulling her into a hug. "It's going to be okay."

"Is it? I can't do it max."

"Zoe yes you can your stronger than anyone I've ever know. We will get through this together. Me and you. I'm right here by your side and trust me I'm never going to leave."

"Max." She lowered her voice and whispered something to him.

"Are you sure?"

"I've been thinking about it ever since I was discharged. But only today I finally realised its what I need, what we both need."

"I don't know what to say."

"Say yes please I need to do this!"

"Fine yes!"

"Thank you. I'll speak to connie in the morning. Now you'd better get back to work."

"No I'm not leaving you."

"Max I'll be okay"

"Okay I'm going. I'll tell them you don't feel well."

Max left the house and took two car back to work. The rest of the day seemed to go by without any problems and max returned home to find zoe asleep on the sofa.

"Tomorrow is will be the next step I suppose." He whispered to her before making himself some toast and then heading upstairs to bed.

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**Please review. The last chapter of this fic is the next one xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**So here's the last chapter of this fic, I've been putting off posting it until I'd started on the final sequel, i have now written the first chapter and have planned the rest, I hope you enjoy x**

**Katie xx**

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Zoe awoke early the next morning, she knew Connie would be in early as usual and wanted to speak to her before the rest of the staff arrived. She moved carefully so not to disturb max.

She drove to the hospital and parked her car. As she walked into the ED she quickly tried to silence her demons. Before knocking on Connie's office door. As she entered she knew that this was the right decision.

Max had arrived at work and people were questioning him about Zoe. Noel had seen her go into Connie's office.

"What if she's quitting?" Cal said.

"Zoe wouldn't quit, she leaves and breathes medicine." Tess replied.

"Well it doesn't seem good though she's in the ice queens' office." Lofty added.

"Let's stop speculating, I'm sure we will find out soon enough." Charlie commented.

"Now everyone back to work." Rita said.

Max walked off he knew and he too believed it was the best idea in ages. The staff would find out soon enough, but he couldn't help but in a way not want to see their reactions.

A while later Zoe emerged from Connie's office.

"Well if you're sure, I wish you both all the best."

"Thank you and do stay in touch."

"Everyone can I have your attention. Dr Hanna has an announcement."

Max stood beside Zoe hand in hand.

"Yeah as many of you may remember I took a job in New York last year and they want me back. After everything that's happened here in the last few months I feel as if it would be the right move. I need a fresh start and max agrees. I've had so much fun here and will take with me so many happy memories but at the moment I'm still in recovery and need a new scene. I'll miss everyone like crazy but it's the next chapter in our lives and with Max I feel anything is possible. I'm sure this isn't the last you'll be seeing of us so don't think you're getting off that lightly."

Max kissed Zoe. Everyone crowded round hugging and exchanging good luck messages. Robyn took max to one side.

"So you're leaving too."

"Yeah. But I'll miss you sis."

"I'll miss you too! You better keep in touch and if you hurt Zoe I'll have you! Look after her your all she's got."

"I will come here." Max hugged Robyn and then walked back over to rejoin Zoe.

"Shall we?"

"Yeah." "Thank you everyone but for now it's farewell."

Max and Zoe held hands and turned away from the rest of them. Now it was them against the world. Hand in hand, together forever! Today was the start of a new tomorrow.

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**Please review xx**

_A/N- so that's the last chapter! I hope you've enjoyed this fic, it's been so much fun to write. Thank you for all the reviews, they really mean a lot. – I'm going to write a series of oneshots about their life after Holby called '**Home is where the heart is' **which I hope to start posting as of next week._


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